Working with this latest client has given me a whole new perspective on tunnel vision as it affects doctors, nurses, and the birth community in general.
My client is a grand mulitp with a history of premature births, and several children at home. She's been hospitalized and put on bedrest, and her bag has a high leak- which would be no big deal, except that she's also a single parent, 32 weeks, and her kids are in the custody of their grandmother who wasn counting on having them for days, not weeks.
Mom had steroid injections about a month ago to promote lung development. She's been suffering through injections to prevent early labor since 17 weeks. She's unhappy, stressed, and uncomfortable. She's also extremely worried about her kids- things are not going well at grandma's house.
Her doctor had the gall to say that none of that was her concern- that her only concern was the well being of the unborn baby. She told my client that if this baby wasn't her only concern too, that she was a bad mother! She wouldn't hear the concerns that mom has that her older kids are possibly being abused at grandma's house, (she's an abuse survivor) that mom is constantly wet and uncomfortable, or any of mom's concerns about her prior history of labors-
This lady is a GOOD mom. She's worried about all of her kids- the ones that are already here and living, as well as this new one on the way. She's trying to balance their needs as well as she can, but everyone around her is telling her that she's a bad mother for not listening to them- her older kids caretakers, the school, the doctors& nurses who have played the "dead baby" card more than once. They've threatened her with cord prolapse, poor lung function, hemorrhage, her death and the baby's death to keep her in the hospital. What happened to treating the WHOLE woman- not just her pregnancy?
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Baby Signs Story
Sign, Say and Play class is going well, and today we got A. and her mother back- It was great to see them again. Mom told a great story-
A usually sees her Daddy at breakfast, he stops in at lunch, and she sees him again at dinner, but this last week he's had a big project that hasn't allowed him to come in for meals. He came inside for tools, and stopped to quickly kiss A, on his way back out the door- and she began to sign "more" while saying the word "Da-Da"- Daddy took a break for an hour, to spend time with his little girl. How wonderful that she could let her parents know that she missed her Daddy and wanted him to spend more time with her!
I'll be running sample classes in October to promote the new site opening in November. I'm beginning to offer classes at Bay View Community Center, and Well Rounded Maternity Center may be moving into Milwaukee!
On the doula side of life, things have been very slow. I have only one client at the moment, due in December, but likely to go as early as mid November.
that's all for now.
A usually sees her Daddy at breakfast, he stops in at lunch, and she sees him again at dinner, but this last week he's had a big project that hasn't allowed him to come in for meals. He came inside for tools, and stopped to quickly kiss A, on his way back out the door- and she began to sign "more" while saying the word "Da-Da"- Daddy took a break for an hour, to spend time with his little girl. How wonderful that she could let her parents know that she missed her Daddy and wanted him to spend more time with her!
I'll be running sample classes in October to promote the new site opening in November. I'm beginning to offer classes at Bay View Community Center, and Well Rounded Maternity Center may be moving into Milwaukee!
On the doula side of life, things have been very slow. I have only one client at the moment, due in December, but likely to go as early as mid November.
that's all for now.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Too much Excitement for a Sunday....
Boo was "missing" for about an hour this morning. He called me from church, to say there was no Sunday School, and where was Daddy?
I told him to walk home (it's not that far) and his dad will meet him and pick him up on the way. I took the dog, and started down the street to meet him and take him for ice cream, if Daddy didn't find him on his way home.
In the Meantime, his scout leader, from whom he borrowed a cell phone(his was left at home), offered him a ride home, which he took. He didn't bother to call me and let me know.
Daddy (who ALSO didn't have his cell phone with him) found me waiting at the halfway point, on the verge of calling the police. We ran home to check and see if we'd missed him, and yes, he was waiting on the doorstep. (He didn't have his house key either.)
All the worry could have been alleviated, if EITHER of them had had their cell phones with them!
Moral: if you have a cell phone, TAKE IT WITH YOU! It does no good sitting on the nightstand!
I told him to walk home (it's not that far) and his dad will meet him and pick him up on the way. I took the dog, and started down the street to meet him and take him for ice cream, if Daddy didn't find him on his way home.
In the Meantime, his scout leader, from whom he borrowed a cell phone(his was left at home), offered him a ride home, which he took. He didn't bother to call me and let me know.
Daddy (who ALSO didn't have his cell phone with him) found me waiting at the halfway point, on the verge of calling the police. We ran home to check and see if we'd missed him, and yes, he was waiting on the doorstep. (He didn't have his house key either.)
All the worry could have been alleviated, if EITHER of them had had their cell phones with them!
Moral: if you have a cell phone, TAKE IT WITH YOU! It does no good sitting on the nightstand!
Monday, May 18, 2009
How I spent my Sunday.....
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2011651&id=1384244609&l=1fadb3c203
Boo decided to be helpful, and loaded up the dishwasher at the cabin. He couldn't find the dishwasher detergent right away, so he used liquid dish soap instead.
It took close to six hours to clean up the mess- because the bubbles just kept coming! Even after we cleaned out the dishwasher of what we hoped was all the soap, the bubbles kept coming. It was EXACTLY like a sitcom. I'd have been furious- if I could have stopped laughing.....
Boo decided to be helpful, and loaded up the dishwasher at the cabin. He couldn't find the dishwasher detergent right away, so he used liquid dish soap instead.
It took close to six hours to clean up the mess- because the bubbles just kept coming! Even after we cleaned out the dishwasher of what we hoped was all the soap, the bubbles kept coming. It was EXACTLY like a sitcom. I'd have been furious- if I could have stopped laughing.....
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Moms ROCK.
So, I'm home , and finally awake.
Was birthin' last night- a very sweet mom who was hoping for a VBAC*. I got the call around 9:30, and figured, since this was essentially a 1st baby, that we would have plenty of time. So I took my shower, and got my stuff together, and headed for their house. The plan was to stay home as long as she felt comfortable staying home. I was about 8 blocks from the house, when I got a second call: We're going to the hospital. I got to the house, helped them load the car, and off we went!
The HOSPITAL, bless them, had changed their policy since the last birth I attended: the front entrance is no longer avialable after 8 PM. So we had to find our way to Emergancy, only to discover that the PARKING for Emergancy is over a block away! Dad took Mom in and up to the floor, while I parked my car, and hiked over. I signed in, and headed up, to where Mom was in triage. Mom's contractions when we left home were >3 minutes apart, and long- by the time we got to the hospital, they were pretty much on top of each other, and she was working hard. They assessed her as being well into active labor, and we were assigned a room.
We were lucky- we got the ONLY tub available on the floor, and as soon as Mom was cleared to get in the water, she did. Our nurse was absolutely sweet- I need to remember to write her a note. Mom and dad were both able to climb into the tub, and we got some peace and quiet- I'd bought some LED candles (for some reason hospitals don't like open flame around all that oxygen) and we set them up, turned down the monitor, and turned on her music. She labored like that for a little over an hour, when Mom decided she was done being brave. She wanted the epidural, and she wanted it now. We called for the nurse, and got Mom out of the tub to be checked- It was too late for an epidural. Within another 20 minutes, Mom was ready to push, and all we were waiting on was her OB. whose timing was impeccable- she walked into the room as Mom was asking WHY they didn't want her to push yet!
This OB was great. She was patient, she encouraged mom to try pushing in different posititons, and after 2 1/2 hours, Baby Girl was born! She's Perfect in every way, with APGARS of 9 &9.
I'm so proud of Mom- she was certain that baby was never going to come out, and she DID it. Only another mom or doula understands what I mean, when I say : Moms ROCK.
*Vaginal Birth After Cesearean
Was birthin' last night- a very sweet mom who was hoping for a VBAC*. I got the call around 9:30, and figured, since this was essentially a 1st baby, that we would have plenty of time. So I took my shower, and got my stuff together, and headed for their house. The plan was to stay home as long as she felt comfortable staying home. I was about 8 blocks from the house, when I got a second call: We're going to the hospital. I got to the house, helped them load the car, and off we went!
The HOSPITAL, bless them, had changed their policy since the last birth I attended: the front entrance is no longer avialable after 8 PM. So we had to find our way to Emergancy, only to discover that the PARKING for Emergancy is over a block away! Dad took Mom in and up to the floor, while I parked my car, and hiked over. I signed in, and headed up, to where Mom was in triage. Mom's contractions when we left home were >3 minutes apart, and long- by the time we got to the hospital, they were pretty much on top of each other, and she was working hard. They assessed her as being well into active labor, and we were assigned a room.
We were lucky- we got the ONLY tub available on the floor, and as soon as Mom was cleared to get in the water, she did. Our nurse was absolutely sweet- I need to remember to write her a note. Mom and dad were both able to climb into the tub, and we got some peace and quiet- I'd bought some LED candles (for some reason hospitals don't like open flame around all that oxygen) and we set them up, turned down the monitor, and turned on her music. She labored like that for a little over an hour, when Mom decided she was done being brave. She wanted the epidural, and she wanted it now. We called for the nurse, and got Mom out of the tub to be checked- It was too late for an epidural. Within another 20 minutes, Mom was ready to push, and all we were waiting on was her OB. whose timing was impeccable- she walked into the room as Mom was asking WHY they didn't want her to push yet!
This OB was great. She was patient, she encouraged mom to try pushing in different posititons, and after 2 1/2 hours, Baby Girl was born! She's Perfect in every way, with APGARS of 9 &9.
I'm so proud of Mom- she was certain that baby was never going to come out, and she DID it. Only another mom or doula understands what I mean, when I say : Moms ROCK.
*Vaginal Birth After Cesearean
Monday, March 23, 2009
Packing your hospital bag-
Just got a great tip from another Doula about Packing your bag for the hospital-
DON'T DO IT.
Ask you hubby or partner to do it. Lay out everything you want to take on the bed, and have your support person pack the actual bag. YOU are going to be too busy to be rooting around in the bag for what you want, so HE will need to know where to find it! The best way for that to happen, is for him (or her) to pack the bag.
Pack more than one bag- pack one for labor, one for postpartum, one for baby, one for support person.
Things to pack:
LABOR BAG:
Partner's Bag
Mom's Postpartum Bag
DON'T DO IT.
Ask you hubby or partner to do it. Lay out everything you want to take on the bed, and have your support person pack the actual bag. YOU are going to be too busy to be rooting around in the bag for what you want, so HE will need to know where to find it! The best way for that to happen, is for him (or her) to pack the bag.
Pack more than one bag- pack one for labor, one for postpartum, one for baby, one for support person.
Things to pack:
LABOR BAG:
- Birth Plan
- lip balm
- pillow cases (the smell of home)
- toilet paper (hospital parer is scratchy!)
- tooth paste and tooth brush
- hair brush , and ties or clips
- warm socks or slippers
- rice sock
- glasses or contacts and supplies
- books or videos
- music and player
- snacks
- juice, Popsicles
- money for incidentals (soda, cafeteria)
Partner's Bag
- Birth Plan
- Cellphone and Charger
- Camera and Charger
- clean clothes
- swim suit (in case she wants you in the shower or tub)
- toiletries
- books
- Contact list for after the baby is born
Mom's Postpartum Bag
- cosmetics and toiletries
- robe
- nightgown
- nursing bras
- underwear
- going home clothes
- breastfeeding video or books
- cell phone and charger
- clothes for baby
- Baby Blanket
- baby sling
- Diapers
Car seat
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Could it be Spring? part 2
Next Friday is supposed to be a lovely day- so we're going to the ZOO!
You're welcome to join us- We're meeting in front of the penguins at 10 AM.
We'd love to have you there!
You're welcome to join us- We're meeting in front of the penguins at 10 AM.
We'd love to have you there!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
I'm disapointed
Our first Parent Workshop has been canceled due to lack of enrollment.
We're going to shoot for a new date in April.
We're going to shoot for a new date in April.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Could it be Spring?
Weather above freezing, TWO DAYS IN A ROW! WOO HOOO!
I am SO sick of being cold all the time! The weather is lovely, the dog is filthy, the ground is mushy, and it might , just might, be SPRING!
Well Rounded Maternity Center is hosting a Baby Signs Parent Workshop next Saturday, March 14th.
Unfortunately, the Sign Say and Play class is being canceled due to lack of interest. We will attempt to hold another SS&P class in April.
I am SO sick of being cold all the time! The weather is lovely, the dog is filthy, the ground is mushy, and it might , just might, be SPRING!
Well Rounded Maternity Center is hosting a Baby Signs Parent Workshop next Saturday, March 14th.
Unfortunately, the Sign Say and Play class is being canceled due to lack of interest. We will attempt to hold another SS&P class in April.
Friday, February 20, 2009
In my copious spare time....
How do people keep up with all the blogging/myspace/facebook etc? I find I need all of these tools to promote my business, but as my business gets bussier, I have very little time to keep up with the details of keeping these things up to date!
What are YOUR tips for keeping up with the computer?
What are YOUR tips for keeping up with the computer?
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Postpartum work , Twins, and BABY SIGNS!
I've been insanely busy over the last month or so, between the holidays, working full time postpartum with a couple who had twins just before Christmas, meeting potential clients for spring, trying to make time for my family- and my dog isn't speaking to me, he sees me so little.
On top of all of that, I'm working on becoming certified as a Baby Signs Instructor. Classes will begin in March- at Well Rounded Maternity Center in Menomonee Falls.
On top of all of that, I'm working on becoming certified as a Baby Signs Instructor. Classes will begin in March- at Well Rounded Maternity Center in Menomonee Falls.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
THIS is what it's all about!
Run, don't walk, to check out Patti Ramos' blog today. LOVELY shots of birth up close.
http://doulapattiramos.blogspot.com/2008/11/birth-up-close.html
Birth up close is GRAPHIC- shows peri area, penis on baby and a nipple- but we're all grown-ups, and this miracle should not be missed!
http://doulapattiramos.blogspot.com/2008/11/birth-up-close.html
Birth up close is GRAPHIC- shows peri area, penis on baby and a nipple- but we're all grown-ups, and this miracle should not be missed!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
GET OUT AND VOTE!
No matter who you vote for, it matters that you vote. Voting is a serious responsibility, and a few minutes or hours of your time is a small price to pay for the freedom provided you by a democratic society.
It's not the big elections that bother me, though... I worry about the small ones. Alderman, Councilwoman, county executive, judges, sheriffs... you need to get out to ALL of those elections, and you need to make certain you are informed about the candidates.
I'll be out on Tuesday morning, with my kid, standing in line to vote, and I'll write him an excuse if we're late to school because of it.
It's not the big elections that bother me, though... I worry about the small ones. Alderman, Councilwoman, county executive, judges, sheriffs... you need to get out to ALL of those elections, and you need to make certain you are informed about the candidates.
I'll be out on Tuesday morning, with my kid, standing in line to vote, and I'll write him an excuse if we're late to school because of it.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Your Body, Your Baby, Your Choices.
Someone recently asked me if, I as a doula would support a woman through an abortion. I've had to think seriously about that. Where do my personal beliefs have to end, to follow my calling? Do I support a woman having a birth related procedure that I do not believe is right? Does that include having an epidural? An elective c-section? An abortion? Not choosing to breast feed? Circumcising her son ... Or her daughter? Is my practice going to be "woman -centered" or "baby -centered" and are the two mutually exclusive?
I've decided to take the "Your Body, your baby, your choices" stance. As long as you have taken the time to inform yourself about your options, I will support you in your choices. I will help you to gather information, I will give you my opinion if you ask for it, and I will make sure you are prepared to defend unpopular decisions to others, if you wish. I won't sugar coat things for you, and I will try to make certain the articles that I refer you to are as unbiased as possible. Failing that, I will try to mace certain that you at least receive both sides of the issue.
The pro-lifers are right about one thing: Abortion kills babies. We cannot sugar coat this, it needs to be out there in black and white. That pregnancy, if allowed to reach it's natural conclusion, will result in a baby. Where we run into problems is at the point where people start putting the rights of a potential baby over the rights of an existing woman. Taken to an extreme, protecting "The rights of the fetus" could eventually compel every woman to be taken into custody the moment she tests positive for pregnancy, kept in custody until the pregnancy reaches full term, and delivered by a cesarean section.
For the record, I am firmly pro-choice. Your choices do not have to be the same as mine. I chose to disapprove of abortions as birth control. I believe that if your primary method of birth control fails, there is a reason for that. There are other options available to you if you choose not to raise a child that you have conceived and there are differences in choosing to abort a child who cannot survive outside the womb, and one who can. There are VALID reasons to want an abortion, and I do not need to know why you have made the choice you have made, only that you have explored all of the options open to you, before making your decision. (I will happily listen if you feel you need to explain your choice!)
That being said, if you have decided for whatever reason to terminate your pregnancy, I would be willing to be there to support you before, during and after your procedure.
I've decided to take the "Your Body, your baby, your choices" stance. As long as you have taken the time to inform yourself about your options, I will support you in your choices. I will help you to gather information, I will give you my opinion if you ask for it, and I will make sure you are prepared to defend unpopular decisions to others, if you wish. I won't sugar coat things for you, and I will try to make certain the articles that I refer you to are as unbiased as possible. Failing that, I will try to mace certain that you at least receive both sides of the issue.
The pro-lifers are right about one thing: Abortion kills babies. We cannot sugar coat this, it needs to be out there in black and white. That pregnancy, if allowed to reach it's natural conclusion, will result in a baby. Where we run into problems is at the point where people start putting the rights of a potential baby over the rights of an existing woman. Taken to an extreme, protecting "The rights of the fetus" could eventually compel every woman to be taken into custody the moment she tests positive for pregnancy, kept in custody until the pregnancy reaches full term, and delivered by a cesarean section.
For the record, I am firmly pro-choice. Your choices do not have to be the same as mine. I chose to disapprove of abortions as birth control. I believe that if your primary method of birth control fails, there is a reason for that. There are other options available to you if you choose not to raise a child that you have conceived and there are differences in choosing to abort a child who cannot survive outside the womb, and one who can. There are VALID reasons to want an abortion, and I do not need to know why you have made the choice you have made, only that you have explored all of the options open to you, before making your decision. (I will happily listen if you feel you need to explain your choice!)
That being said, if you have decided for whatever reason to terminate your pregnancy, I would be willing to be there to support you before, during and after your procedure.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Looking for volunteer models in the Milwaukee area.....
My business partner and I are thinking about adding belly casting to our repertoire of services.
Looking for pregnant moms who would be willing for us to use their bellies to practice on!
Looking for pregnant moms who would be willing for us to use their bellies to practice on!
Friday, September 19, 2008
Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day! ARRRRR! And Happy Birthday Hermione Granger!
My favorite day of the year!http://www.talklikeapirate.com
Talk like a Pirate Day song!
http://www.tomsmithonline.com/freestuff/oddio/TLAPD.mp3
and Another!(for Pirate and Potter fans!)
http://www.tomsmithonline.com/freest.../iT008_192.mp3
ARRR! have FUN ARRR!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Canceled
Unfortunately, due to lack of interest, the postpartum depression seminar has been canceled.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Picture Perfect.
Wanted: one Picture perfect Bradley birth.
I got my wish last night. Dad's home on leave from Afghanistan. He has 18 days before he has to return. On Sunday morning, mom's bag broke, spontaneously. After 21 hours of HARD labor (baby was posterior, and asynclitic) he's here. And Daddy still has 13 days of leave left, to get to know his son.
Grandma and great grandma were there- and were fantastic at anticipating mom's needs, from a sip of water, to freshening her makeup.
Mom and Dad were AMAZING. He was her rock, and she had a peaceful, mostly non interventitive birth. A little Pit, towards the end, because she was completely exhausted, but no pain medication at all, and none of the "thrashing about, screaming, sobbing" that you see on TV.
If mom had been less determined, or dad had wavered in supporting her, this would have been a c-section. It wasn't.
You know who you are.... I'm PROUD of you!
I got my wish last night. Dad's home on leave from Afghanistan. He has 18 days before he has to return. On Sunday morning, mom's bag broke, spontaneously. After 21 hours of HARD labor (baby was posterior, and asynclitic) he's here. And Daddy still has 13 days of leave left, to get to know his son.
Grandma and great grandma were there- and were fantastic at anticipating mom's needs, from a sip of water, to freshening her makeup.
Mom and Dad were AMAZING. He was her rock, and she had a peaceful, mostly non interventitive birth. A little Pit, towards the end, because she was completely exhausted, but no pain medication at all, and none of the "thrashing about, screaming, sobbing" that you see on TV.
If mom had been less determined, or dad had wavered in supporting her, this would have been a c-section. It wasn't.
You know who you are.... I'm PROUD of you!
Monday, September 1, 2008
Mostly.. a doula WAITS
Waiting for a lot of things right now... a call from my client saying her hubby is home, a call from MY hubby saying he's coming home (at the cabin, they had an ADVENTURE...) another client..... morning....labor to start... labor to end.... the house to sell.... calls from friends....
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