Sunday, October 18, 2009

Tunnel Vision & Selective Listening

Working with this latest client has given me a whole new perspective on tunnel vision as it affects doctors, nurses, and the birth community in general.

My client is a grand mulitp with a history of premature births, and several children at home. She's been hospitalized and put on bedrest, and her bag has a high leak- which would be no big deal, except that she's also a single parent, 32 weeks, and her kids are in the custody of their grandmother who wasn counting on having them for days, not weeks.

Mom had steroid injections about a month ago to promote lung development. She's been suffering through injections to prevent early labor since 17 weeks. She's unhappy, stressed, and uncomfortable. She's also extremely worried about her kids- things are not going well at grandma's house.

Her doctor had the gall to say that none of that was her concern- that her only concern was the well being of the unborn baby. She told my client that if this baby wasn't her only concern too, that she was a bad mother! She wouldn't hear the concerns that mom has that her older kids are possibly being abused at grandma's house, (she's an abuse survivor) that mom is constantly wet and uncomfortable, or any of mom's concerns about her prior history of labors-

This lady is a GOOD mom. She's worried about all of her kids- the ones that are already here and living, as well as this new one on the way. She's trying to balance their needs as well as she can, but everyone around her is telling her that she's a bad mother for not listening to them- her older kids caretakers, the school, the doctors& nurses who have played the "dead baby" card more than once. They've threatened her with cord prolapse, poor lung function, hemorrhage, her death and the baby's death to keep her in the hospital. What happened to treating the WHOLE woman- not just her pregnancy?

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